Better Soccer Coaching / Better Soccer Coaching / The Dug-Out / dealing with coaches / Latest Posts

RE: dealing with coaches

TJ — Tue, 15 Feb 2011 22:29:49 GMT

I coach a rec team. My goal is to have a balance of equal playing time, keeping it fun and having everybody try different positions. I record positions and playing time for each game to keep track of this. It's easy to get carried away and focus on wining the game instead of fun and player development - for both coaches and parents.

Have a fact-based discussion with the coach. Tell him what you see, remind him of his promise at the begin of the season. Based on his reply you can make a decision to stay on the team or leave.

RE: dealing with coaches

dufeu58 — Mon, 14 Feb 2011 05:14:12 GMT

While I agree with 'Former Player' about parents trying to avoid getting involved, I think it is important for players/children to realize that if you are promised something you should ask why that promise isn't being honored. If you were told at the beginning of the season that all the players would have the opportunity to play and to play a variety of positions, then it is quite within your 'right' to approach the coach and manager and ask why it isn't happening. I don't know from your post what the age of the team is and this is an important factor in the whole equation. However, it is still important that players on the team see the coach and manager as being 'fair' and if they don't then that is something that certainly needs to be pointed out to those individuals, or the coach and manager will never get the best out of the players. I think the real question is, "Are you happy with your child's development?" If not then even if your child might not like it, you have to think about moving them to another team. Again this is dependant on the age of the child. Sometimes we have to make decisions for children that they don't like, that's why we are parents. But you can only make a decision like this if you are doing it for the right reasons. You cannot be living through your child, and you cannot do it because you don't like the coach, if indeed he is doing a good job. I think it is important for you to discuss with the coach and/or manager your thoughts, but make an appointment to do so. Do not 'ambush' the coach, and do not have a discussion in front of players or even other parents. And perhaps most important listen when the coach/manager is talking, and don't get into an argument. You can always schedule another meeting if you need to collect your thoughts or forget about something until after the meeting.

Hope some or all of this helped. Humbly,

dufeu58 (Veteran coach of 35 years and also a parent of two teenage players)

RE: dealing with coaches

ExPlayer — Mon, 15 Nov 2010 19:25:04 GMT

There are some things a parent shouldn't do when it comes to there childs sport. Playing time can be a sensitive subject. I know as an ex-player that it was always embarrissing to see my parents go have a 1 on 1 with the coach. Here is an article that tells parents what some of the do nots are in sports. parents in youth sports

RE: dealing with coaches

GTQ — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 19:23:20 GMT

Hi Soccerparent,

Any manager should ensure equal playing time for all players as long as they are members of the squad. Sometimes this is difficult because of a large squad size.

However undesirable, you have the ultimate sanction of finding your child another team. However if you wish to stay with the current side then you should make an appointment to speak to the manager IN PRIVATE. Doing so avoids a public slanging match which all concerned will later regret.

Prepare a RATIONAL arguement based purely on FACTS and NOT on emotions.

Avoid confrontation by taking a stance and saying such as :

"I can sometimes see what you are trying to do for the team and I know that it is a difficult job, but................."

You may then find you gain a more sympathetic ear.

Hope his helps

GTQ

RE: dealing with coaches

coachcj — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 12:36:34 GMT

this is a tough one, first have a look in the mirror and ask yourself is it me thats dissapointed for my child, is my child happy there?

if your child enjoys it at the club let them stay and try to get involved yourself then you might be able to advise the managers on team matters when you have experianced the difficulties of keeping everybody happy.

its a tough life in kids football for managers, i will say that they don't learn how to play football if they don't get to play and that is a statement you might try as a hint to the manager

dealing with coaches

soccerparent — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 18:16:15 GMT

Hopefully someone will be able to assist. We are on a select team and the coach is not moving the players around as he had promised at the beginning of the season. Only a few players are getting proper plays and the rest of the team is being left behind and not reaching their potential play. To make matters worse, his wife is the manager and possibly one of the worst managers ever and providing favoritism especially towards their own kid -- their kid only plays striker and will never play back along with a couple of other players. They are basically playing favourites while the remainder of the team who are more than willing to play are not able to because they are always stuck in the same positions.